


A Most Devious Trap

by Blackmarch



Category: Worm - Wildbow
Genre: Androgyny, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, F/M, Jealousy, Mistaken Gender, Sex, Tsundere, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 14:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12278727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackmarch/pseuds/Blackmarch
Summary: Where Taylor Hebert and Alexandria are alone together in a tiny room. Taylor is actually male, and Alexandria is mentally, and physically, a teenage girl.Canon dies in a fire.





	1. Chapter 1

Taylor’s fingers drummed on the metal table. This was not going at all like it should have. Not even close. Too quiet. Too - civil. They were just there. Everyone outside. Waiting for something. It didn’t make sense.  
  
Tagg was stomping back and forth. Ranting. Raving. Basic coherency had been lost to him five or so minutes ago, making anything he said garbled and indistinct. Judging from everyone else’s reaction, it wasn’t an issue with the bugs. Taylor wasn’t all that surprised by that. The man had been foolish enough to break the unwritten rules after all. He wasn’t the type for calm and reasonable action.  
  
Taylor’s head lowered, now deep in thought.  
  
But nothing else made sense. Surrendering for the sake of the world should involve a lot more screaming. Browbeating. Threats to family and loved ones, with a side of Birdcage orders for all involved. Not a spate of relatively minor anxiety, followed by bored- was that  _Dad_  having coffee with Assault? The hell?   
  
Taylor sat there blinking in confusion. Something was very, very wrong. Everything was far too casual. There was no one else in the room There was no one on the other side of the double sided mirror. There was no recording equipment. In fact there wasn’t anything or anyone on the same floor.  
  
That didn’t paint a pretty picture.  
  
“ _They’re going to vanish me_.” Taylor thought, mind awhirl with plans, created and discarded without an end. Dinah hadn’t said anything about that. Just that surrendering would change the numbers for the better. Were- were they going to have to  _die_  for those numbers? If that was the case….  
  
It was in the middle of this plotting that one third of the Triumvirate, Alexandria, walked through the door. Paused in place as she found Taylor, hairpin in hand, in the middle of unbolting their chair to use as a makeshift weapon.  
  
Not exactly Taylor’s best moment.  
“Someone has been slacking off.” Alexandria said dryly, before closing the door. Taylor stood up, putting the chair back down before stiffly taking a seat. “Not searching prisoners, loose bolts in room fixtures.” Alexandria placed the papers she was carrying on the table, and sat down herself. “People who don’t understand what ‘chain of command’ means.”  
  
Taylor raised her head, not quite knowing how to feel as, through the eyes of their insects, they watched Tagg get sprayed down with containment foam. Then get sprayed down some more.  
  
“Due to Tagg being put under M/S confinement, due to a sudden loss of rationality, and general competence, when he heard his orders,” Alexandria looked over her hands at Taylor, palm over fist, “I’ll be in charge of your interrogation.”  
  
“That implies it was something he ever had.” Taylor muttered under her breath.  
  
Alexandria said nothing, but Taylor thought her lips may have twitched. Alexandria picked up the first bundle of papers. It had a paper clip and signed statements. A stamp declaring it classified on the back and.... It had last year’s school picture day photo. The one for the one day where Emma and the gang had let up, saying that they couldn’t have possible made Taylor look any worse.  
  
The worse part was… that they were right. That was just a shit photo in general…. And that was the one the government had. Because of course it was.  
  
“Taylor Hebert.” Alexandria started, “Age, sixteen. Born June nineteenth, 1997 to Annette and Daniel Hebert at three in the morning in Brockton Bay memorial….” Then paused, raising her head from the paper in front of her to give Taylor an, implied, raised eyebrow. “And born as a male.”  
  
Taylor crossed  _his_  arms defensively over  _his_  chest. “Is that a problem?” It would be just his luck if it was, finding out Alexandria was a bigot in an enclosed room. He’d be seeing his mother soon, if that was the case.  
  
“No. No of course not.” Alexandria murmured before she began flipping through the stack in front of her. She paused again. “Besides the fact that every other bit of documentation we have on you, have declared you to be unequivocally female.”  
  
“A typo on my social security.” Taylor grunted. “Every piece of paperwork  _after_ my birth certificate says that because of it.”  
  
“And you didn’t change it?”  
  
“... Do I look like I’m made out of money?” Taylor asked incredulously as he put his pin back into his hair. “The bureaucracy would’ve eaten my family alive.”  
  
“True enough.” Alexandria sighed, “The bureaucracy demands its dues.” And closed the folder. “It seems that we’re going to have to reconstruct your profile. If it couldn’t even get your  _gender_ right….” The heroine snorted. “What I have here is useless, and needs a full work up.”  
  
“How long would that take?”  
  
“With our— _Cauldron’s_ —resources? We could have it here now.” Taylor’s cheek twitched as Alexandria’s voice took on a familiar tone. “But I think we’re just going to have to hold you for a week instead. Make it official.” The tone of  _smug_.  
  
“... You do know,” Taylor said slowly, “That I’m essentially a hostage, right? My friends, my group, aren’t going to give you that kind of time.”  
  
Lisa had probably already spent a million or two on getting him out, knowing her, even with the whole thing where-  
  
“I’d say we had a day at most before the mercenaries started crawling out of the woodwork.” Alexandria agreed, jolting Taylor from his thoughts. “But the problem is, fast tracking something like that would show my hand. I’m Alexandria now, not the Head Director of the PRT. Not anymore.” She tapped a nail against the table. “You aren’t nearly that valuable.”  
  
“Dinah says otherwise.” Taylor shot back flatly.  
  
“… If you want it to be like that.” Alexandria replied as she moved the papers in front of her to the side, only to pull another packet out from _somewhere_. She then flipped through it, seemingly at random, before settling on a page. “We can get to the questions now.” The former director looked up again, pen in hand. “Age?”  
  
Taylor sighed. It seemed they were doing this then. “Sixteen.”  
  
“Year of birth?”  
  
“1997.”  
  
It went on like that for a while. The questioning. Where were you born, when were you born. The name of his parents, and where he had lived for for most of his life. Grades in school and general schoolyard experience. How he had triggered. Normal questions. Expected. Understandable—  
  
“How would your best friend describe you?”  
  
“... What?”  
  
—Up to a point. Taylor wasn’t sure when it had happened, couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but the questions he’d been getting had started to take an odd turn lately.  
  
“Strong? Quick? Able to think on your feet? Brutal, perhaps?”  
  
Taylor worked his jaw for a moment as he thought about it. The question, that is. Not on how he would answer. What was Alexandria’s game here? What was she looking for? “Pass.” How else did she expect him to answer that? Honestly? It's not like he’d ever asked, or anything.  
  
He had low self-esteem, sure…. But he wasn’t  _that_ desperate.  
  
“I see…. That makes sense.” The heroine nodded and scribbled something down. Taylor noticed that her face, what he could see of it, had started to colour. Frustration, he assumed. “What is your favorite food and color?”  
  
“I- Pizza? I guess?” Taylor answered hesitantly, only a quick offloading of his emotions into the swarm, keeping him from saying something - unwise. “And bottle green? Is there a point to this?”  
  
“Just establishing basic facts.” Alexandria hummed, a throaty noise that made Taylor stand the slightest bit straighter in his seat. “Building a profile.” Taylor noticed a sight tension in Alexandria’s hand. Apparently what he said was the wrong thing, not that he had any idea why. “Where do you see yourself in five years?” She continued on, completely deadpan in her delivery.   
  
Taylor could only stare at her, his face the very picture of disbelief. Okay. At this point, it was obvious that she was playing with him. That was the only reason he could think of, as to her current line of questioning.  
  
Not much point in being serious after something like that, now was there?  
  
“Dead or in the Birdcage. That’s pretty much the reason why I’m here.” Taylor said, acid dripping with each word. Alexandria looked up from her papers. “Or am I wrong?”  
  
“There are - other options, if you must know.” Alexandria said matter of factly. So matter of factly that it took Taylor a few seconds to realize what she had exactly said. “Having someone like you at my side wouldn’t be so terrible.”  
  
“Wha-”  
  
“If your friends compared you to an animal, which animal would it be?” Alexandria said, a bit faster than normal. Taylor had just been ignored. “Any animal.”  
  
“A spider. That much is obvious.” Taylor said, just as quickly. “And what did you mean when you said-”   
  
“What’s your best joke?”  
  
“My life.”  
  
“That’s rather harsh.” Alexandria said, looking rather taken aback for a moment before her mouth set itself back into a grim line. “A bit of an exaggeration maybe?”  
  
“You have my files. You know everything that’s happened to me in the last three months, let alone the last three years. Don’t deny it.” Alexandria said nothing as she flipped to the next page. “I think I may actually be understating things.”  
  
“What would you say is your ideal summer job?”  
  
Taylor shook his head in exasperation. This was starting to become  _surreal_. Where was the tension? The suspense? He felt like he’d been stuck inside of an interview column for Cosmo, instead of the couple hours of parahuman car batteries and waterboarding he’d come to expect.  
  
“Benevolent warlord in a city torn apart by strife and unnatural disaster,” The worst part was that Taylor meant it. Despite everything that had happened, everything that had led up to that moment…. Being a warlord had brought him back to life, gave him a purpose again. It had been worth it. “And protecting the people within my territory.”  
  
 _“So cool.”_  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“I sneezed.” Alexandria twirled the pen in her hand nonchalantly, only to clumsily drop it on the floor. Her face darkened yet further. Taylor pretended he hadn’t noticed anything. “I’m human, the same as anyone else.”  
  
Taylor furrowed his brow, not sure where this was going in the slightest.  
  
“I have - wants.” Taylor started pulling bugs in as Alexandria’s lips curled. “Needs.”  
  
The Swarm was waiting at his command. Hiding in the walls, poised to forced themselves down Alexandria’s mouth and fill her lungs. All it would take would be a simple thought and-  
  
“And I need you.” A thought which was lost to the derailing train of thought that crashed into the brain station. Lots of fire was involved. Oddly enough no screaming as it was just a metaphorical train metaphorically derailing with metaphorical fire.  
  
There were, also, no metaphorical survivors.  
  
“What.” was all Taylor could say, his swarm collapsing, and then quickly devouring itself in his shock. “ _What._ ”  
  
With the sound of a zipper, well, unzipping, the front of Alexandria’s costume torturously, slowly, painfully parted. Taylor’s eyes were all but paralyzed as he watched the zipper descend downwards to right below the pelvic bone.  
  
Alexandria trimmed. Neat. Not that he was complaining, or anything, but-  
  
“Stranger…. No.” Taylor faintly muttered, staring at the perfect example of Catsuit absolute cleavage. “I have to be Mastered.” It was the only way to explain everything. The insane questions, the half undressed Alexandria, the fact that he wasn’t locked in a room, alone with Vista and a wiffle bat. They were trying to… He didn’t know what they were trying, but they were doing this for some reason. “You’re not doing a very good job of it, if you expect me to believe this is real.”  
  
Things like this didn’t just  _happen._  They didn’t. Not even in Taylor’s fantasies. He’d never- okay. That was a lie. But still, the  _chances_ ….  
  
“You’re a teenage boy.” Alexandria said in a sultry manner, taking off her helmet, revealing her eyes. The scar at the side. She shook her head, her own long locks of hair now flowing freely. Taylor idly noted that she seemed much closer in looks to his own age then she had any right to be. “Anymore than that would just be cheating, really.”  
  
Taylor had to admit, as she started to walk around the table, hips swaying, breasts bouncing, that she wasn’t exactly  _wrong_.  
  
“There is no fun in just making you love me. In leaving all the work to someone else.” Alexandria said, her breasts at perfect eye level for Taylor, her hands on his shoulders. “Just a favor, something to get Tagg out of the way, was all the help I needed to get you alone.”  
  
Taylor started to hyperventilate when the table in front of him slid across the floor, flipping over halfway across to crack against the wall. Paper fell like snow.  
  
“I’ve been watching you since Leviathan. You impressed me.” Alexandria spun around to Taylor’s front, her hands still on his shoulders as she straddled his lap, “Caught my interest.” And trapped his erection between her body and his. She chuckled at his wince. “I like my men - unconventional. Pretty, you could say.”  
  
Taylor’s mouth went dry at that. “You like that I wear girl’s clothes?” He liked feeling pretty. Sue him. Twelve years of being forced into dresses by your best (girl)friend, eventually took its toll. “Is that what this is?”  
  
Alec owed him fifty bucks.  
  
“You are decisive. Independent. Powerful, in your own way.” The heroine’s eyes searched his face, while a finger traced his jaw. Taylor noticed that she didn’t deny his accusation. “Willing to do what you must, as long as you believe it to be the right thing to do.” Taylor stiffened, in more ways than one, when Alexandria gave his bulge a squeeze. “I find that sort of confidence  _extremely_  attractive, all on its own.”  
  
Taylor shoved every bit of emotion he had into what was left of the swarm at that. Fear, anxiety, arousal. A tiny bit of anger and a not so tiny amount of sexual frustration, clearing his head. Giving him the calm he needed to examine Alexandria, just as she was examining him.  
  
“I don’t just want someone who will do what I want. There are billions of people, just like that.” She explained, while gently cupping Taylor’s chin in her hand. She then gently forced his face upwards, to make him meet her gaze. “I want someone special. Someone who could stand with me, as we saved the world.”  
  
“... I see.” Taylor, almost solemnly, put his hand over her left breast. Felt her heart through the thin material of her costume, even as he caught the hand at his face, intertwined his fingers with hers. “That you’re not as calm about this as you pretend, are you?”  
  
Alexandria’s smile froze..  
  
“I didn’t even know you could sweat. Or that you could tremble with nerves.” He tightened his hold on her hands, hoping that he’d still have his head after this. “That you weren’t the statue you pretend to be.”  
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Alexandria said stiffly as she withdrew her hand from his. “Lying is something I  _don’t_ find attractive.”  
  
“Right.” Taylor said, watching her face turn noticeably redder the more he looked. “Whatever you say.”  
  
“Stop looking at me like that, you stupid - cute,” Alexandria demanded as she floated backwards, away from Taylor, and off his lap. He had to resist the urge to start rubbing himself, checking if everything was still intact. “Jerk!”  
  
“Yep. That’s me.” Taylor said with a smirk on his face. It was nice to be the smug one for once. Different, but nice… and he’d kind of given up on fighting against the flow anyway. “A stupid, cute, jerk. You’ve got me pegged.”  
  
“You’re not supposed to agree with me, idio-” Was a far as an flustered Alexandria got before her angry stomping turned on her. A single sheet of loose paper had gotten under her foot, and as she stomped away from him she slipped. Fell backwards, wide eyed with confusion when she hit the back of her head against the ground.  
  
Taylor suspected that, not being used to losing control of the situation, any situation, like that, she had forgotten how to fly. Or that she even could fly, as she rolled around on the floor, swearing, papers crinkling under her…. Acting like a, somewhat normal, teenage girl… and if that wasn’t a weird thought, he didn’t know what was.  
  
“My pride,” Alexandria muttered as she sat up. “Is never going to recover from this.”  
  
“....” Taylor got up from his chair and, carefully, padded his way over to where Alexandria was sulking.“Here.” He held his hand out to help her up. She wasn’t too far into her pity party to accept the help, he hoped.  
  
He liked his hand where it was, honestly. Attached to his wrist, and not somewhere in Boston after it got ripped off.   
  
“Thanks....” She faintly said, staring down at the ground. Taylor looked at where she was looking. While there was nothing there particularly interesting, he noticed that drops of water seemed to be appearing on the piece of paper.   
  
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Taylor soothingly said as he sat down and began awkwardly rubbing her back. She slowly lifted her head to look at him. It was obvious she’d been crying. That she still was. Her eyes were red and puffy, with tear tracks streaming from both of them. Taylor idly commented that despite how good of a prosthetic she had, the fake one gave itself away as it wasn’t bloodshot.   
  
They both seemed to be trying to look at anything that wasn’t him. The floor, the ceiling. A couple of doodles with hearts all over them (T+R). Anywhere else but his direction.  
  
“It’s alright.” Taylor continued to try to soothe her, impulsively wiping away her tears with his thumb. This apparently was the wrong thing to do as at the moment Alexandria decided to tackle him. In a whirl of air, movement, and colors.   
  
And pain. Lots of pain as Taylor landed hard against the far side of the room, his back slamming into the wall with a weight on his chest. He was more than a little glad he could still feel his feet, if only because it meant that he hadn’t broken his back. Again.  
  
“ _Why._ ” Taylor intelligently said, all he could say with almost all the air knocked out of his lungs. So focused was he on trying to get much needed air that he almost didn’t realize what that weight on his chest was.  
  
Alexandria wasn’t nearly as heavy as she looked… which really wasn’t all that heavy at all.  
  
“I’m sorry!” She blubbered into his chest. Not cried. Not sobbed. Blubbered. From there on her words were all but unintelligible. Taylor was able to make out ‘tried to act cool’, ‘saw it on tv’ and ‘sorry for everything’.   
  
All Taylor could do as he fought for air was pat her on the back. A couple of pats told him that her costume was made from more mundane materials than most capes were made out of. Simple spandex instead of heavy armor, masquerading as light clothing. Made sense. She was  _the_  Alexandria package. The cape all other flying Brutes were named after. She didn’t need body armor…. It was with that thought that Taylor realized just  _how_ surreal the situation he had found himself in was, even beyond the girl’s gossip magazine level interrogation he’d just been subjected to.  
  
He was currently pressed up against an interrogation room’s wall and trying to comfort a crying woman that happened to be one of the strongest capes in the world. Rubbing her back, and making soothing sounds, interspersed with hungry gasps for yet more air as she tried to hug him to death. There was nothing more surreal than that. After a time, ten minutes or so, the blubbering turned into the occasional sob and hiccup, with even that quieting down in another five.   
  
When Taylor started to think that she had cried herself to sleep, the hold around him loosened.   
  
Taylor winced and let go of his own hold so that she could move again. If he thought her face had been bad before, it was even worse now. A mess of snot and tears, with her one real eye completely bloodshot.   
  
“You hate me now, don’t you?” Alexandria said, wiping off her face with the edge of her cape.   
  
Taylor actually hesitated when she said that. Did he hate her? Could he honestly say that he hated her after everything? No. No he could not. Not after seeing her so vulnerable. The proof that, despite everything, she was in fact human.  
  
He was a sucker when it came to crying girls.  
  
“Most men wouldn’t have handled this nearly as well, let alone boys your age.” She said, voice muted in the material of her cape.  
  
“Most men have never fought the Slaughterhouse Nine and won.” He said with a shrug. Alexandria laughed. Loud. Long. Almost musical.  
  
“Far too true.” She said with a slight hiccup. A silence passed between the two as they looked at each other. “I’m sorry. I’m honestly sorry for - all of this.” Alexandria said as she started to move off of Taylor. Taylor found his hand setting itself on her shoulder and pushing her back down.   
  
He found himself surprised when she actually went along with it.  
  
“I just-” She did not make any moves to leave again as she looked for the words. “It all started when I saw the footage in the aftermath of Leviathan. You. Standing there. Bloody, bruised, and blinded. Unbent. You were not going to let anything as minor as an Endbringer stop you from saving that shelter. By yourself you managed to drive back an Endbringer. Something which the four,” Alexandria’s voice hitched, “Of us could never do on our own. And you managed to do it. I made sure to keep an eye on you after that. I believed you would make a decent enough asset, in the right time and place.”  
  
Taylor couldn’t help but cringe at that, his face twisting even as he continued to rub her back.  
  
“I didn’t realize that you technically already were one of us.” She continued, with venom in her voice.  
  
\----------  
  
Elsewhere Defiant felt another stab of guilt flush through him. He sighed as he focused on the prosthetic in front of him. Just another thing he’ll have to learn to live with. Yet more guilt.  
  
\----------  
  
“I had almost forgotten about you, as much as I can forget anyone, when I had received an update from Brockton Bay about the Slaughterhouse Nine.” Alexandria let her cape drop to put her fingers to her lips, her gaze far away as she spoke. “And I burnt my tongue while drinking my coffee.” Seeing Taylor’s face twist up in confusion, she continued. “I’m not a Brute. Not in the usual sense. My body is, was, effectively time locked. A gradual thing, where more and more of my bodily functions seemed to freeze. I need to drink rarely, and only eat to keep up appearances.”  
  
“So the coffee was a surprise then?”  
  
“A huge one.” She agreed. “The fact that I had actually tasted it, let alone burnt myself on it, left me in shock for a good part of the day. I hadn't felt pain since….” She trailed off, letting it go unsaid. It was hard not to know what she was referring to. “I was worried my power was - dying.”  
  
“That can happen?”  
  
“Yes.” Taylor couldn’t even admit the amount of horror he could feel at that admission. “As the days went on, and I heard more and more about you, it felt like my body was waking up again. I had felt so numb for so long that just feeling the air against my skin again was almost paralyzing.” She snorted. “All I could think of when I was being dismissed as Chief Director was, ‘Yeah, yeah. Hurry up. There’s a tub of ice cream with my name on it.’ Because I could actually taste it again.”  
  
Taylor snorted as well. Just the thought of Alexandria, pigging out on a whole tub of ice cream, her face twisting up in ecstasy after every bite…. Hilarious.  
  
“And the one common thread was you. Just you. It took me something - drastic to make me realize it.”  
  
“What was that?” He said. Alexandria gave him a flat look and then looked down. Taylor followed her gaze and didn’t get why she was looking at her unzipped… costume. “Oh.” Taylor said. That was all he could say, really. There weren’t a lot of options available, when you found out that Alexandria’s powers, of all people, shut down just at the thought of you.   
  
“Oh indeed.” Alexandria said, voice just as flat as her look, with a strong undercurrent of smug…. And her face started to get red again. “When I said that I wanted you at my side… I was trying to be seductive. I’ve had to seduce people, use sex appeal to convince people to work with me, or to give me what I wanted before. Plenty of times actually. A lot of men, and some women, will roll all over themselves in hopes that Alexandria will sleep with them.”  
  
“But I’m the first person that you had feelings for?” Taylor hazarded a guess.  
  
“You’re the first one that had a stupid, cute, jerkface.” Alexandria said, bringing back the early insult, with a little extra. She groaned, and hid her face back in her cape as he laughed. “I got my powers when I was sixteen, and my aging was the first thing to go. You turn me into a mess. I don’t like it.”   
  
Taylor, not knowing what to say, made a humming noise and just kept rubbing her back.  
  
“See?” She said, voice muffled by the fabric over her mouth. “This is exactly what I mean, jerk.”   
  
The feeling of Alexandria’s hands cupping his face came as a complete surprise. The kiss after was even more so. A kiss, a simple press of lips against lips that lingered for nearly a minute, leaving the taste of mint and salt on Taylor’s tongue when she finally broke it off.  
  
The two of them gazed into each other’s eyes for another minute. Then, by unspoken, one sided, agreement, Alexandria gently pulled her costume to the side, revealing herself to the world, and more importantly, Taylor.  
  
“Don’t you think we’re going a little,” Taylor gulped as Alexandria draped her arms around the back of his neck, pressing her chest against his. “Fast?”  
  
Much. This was very new territory, so having sex—in general—with one of the world’s most powerful capes, one that he’d once thought would be responsible for his  _reappearance_ , facedown in a ditch somewhere, wasn’t exactly something he could just brush off without a bit of waffling. Some hesitance on his part was only to be expected.  
  
“Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.”  
  
“... ‘Kay…. Rebecca?”  
  
 _Some_  hesitance. Just a smidge. There was a time for that, and that time had passed when Alexandria had started trying to pull his pants down. When he’d grabbed himself a handful of her chest, felt her nipple hardening under his thumb. When the both of them had, one of them more clumsy than the other, decided to see whose tongue was the stronger.  
  
“Call me Becky….”  
  
The competition, what there was of it, was decided quickly.  
  
Even in her weakened state, ‘Becky’ was still, physically, much stronger than Taylor could ever hope to be. He was, funny as it sounded, being orally oppressed. Dominated, with no hope or chance of winning. Not that he was complaining as she explored his mouth and he did the same in return. The both of them only taking minor breaks in between to grab at each other, to gasp for air before they went back to trying to devour the other.  
  
She hummed, a happy sound that Taylor returned with a tone of his own before she broke away, her face a cheery red, tongue poking cutely out of her mouth as she focused all of her attention on Taylor’s legwear. He felt oddly pleased that her first option had been to tear the material away, instead of pawing at the button and zipper of his pants.  
  
 _“Nothing like a bit of impatience,”_ Taylor thought, his mental tone almost dry, as dry as the situation allowed while he returned the favor, pulling Rebecca’s catsuit roughly down over her shoulders to the space below her hips. A hand down the front of her costume drew a whine out of her, “ _To make you feel wanted._ ” A thrill from Taylor as he felt how wet she was, almost soaking her costume completely through, leaving a spot of moisture on his thigh.  
  
“-” What exactly Rebecca was going to say died along with her train of thought as Taylor decided then and there to gently suck on her nipples. Whatever witty comment that had been about to pass her lips was lost to history, left behind, turned into a footnote that never was, in favor of her forcing herself closer. Her hands sliding into his hair with a needy moan.  
  
It must have been torture, his lips on her skin. His tongue gently flicking over her nipples, as he probed her pussy. Caught her clit in between forefinger and thumb before giving it a roll between them. With her sensitivity as high as it was—  
  
“Be more - gentle….” Rebecca pleaded in a breathy whisper as she finally freed his erection, leaving his pants a tattered mess. “You ass.”  
  
—She had no choice but to fall back before she went mad from the overstimulation, allowing Taylor to take back a tenuous sort of control. He had just leveled the playing field, tilted it in his direction like he normally did… which is when she cheated.  
  
Taylor  _squeaked_ , his voice going high enough to put most girls to shame. Embarrassing. Not that he cared too much about masculinity these days or anything…. But still. He thought it could be excused in his present circumstances. How else did one react to someone unexpectedly starting to grind on them? Especially when they were naked, crotch against crotch, with a wet and willing girl?  
  
He sacrificed the last of his insects, their nervous systems blowing, in a last ditch effort that just barely keeping  _himself_  from blowing. Goddamn teenage hair trigger!  
  
“That was dirty… but then again,” He growled in the face of Becky’s giggling. Giggling that cut off like a scratched record when his face grew a smug smirk of its own. “So is this….” That was the only warning he gave before he pushed The look of complete shock and surprise on Becky’s face was almost better than the actual penetration. Almost.  
  
There was nothing better than that.  
  
Rebecca screamed. Long. Loud. Hard enough to shake the two way mirror. High enough to make Taylor’s ears ring. And then she stopped. Taylor got confused…. And then very, very worried. Her face went blank. She didn’t blink or breathe. And then, in one horrifying instant, she fell onto his chest.  
  
“Oh. Oh fuck.” Taylor whispered. “Oh shit.” Becky said nothing. “Are you-” Taylor couldn’t help but feel relief when she placed a very shaky finger on his lip. A sign of life. The universal sign of silence. For a tense eternity what might have been a minute Taylor waited for Becky to come back to herself, her insides coiling and squeezing madly around his length the entire time.  
  
“Sorry, I-” She coughed. “Blacked out,” Wheezed. “I think.” Gasped, then shakily laughed at the look on Taylor’s face. Confusion, worry, and panic written all over it. “Too fast.” She said, still trying to catch her breath. “Too sensitive, that’s all but… I’m okay now. I think… as long as you go slow. Dick.”  
  
Taylor nodded jerkily, afraid to make another sound with the finger still at his lips, his career in comedy, dead before it had even begun. Instead, he used the silence to readjust their positions. To adjust his legs to get feeling back into them before he held Becky up.  
  
It was an easy thing to do. Almost too easy, he thought, until he remembered that she could fly, as he laid his hands on her thighs, taking a few moments to admire how firm and smooth they were. A couple of soft squeezes got a shaky slap to the shoulder in return. The wince he made at that was only halfway playful.  
  
He’d have a bruise tomorrow. It was that type of pain.  
  
“Alright.” Taylor said as the finger at his lips fell away. “I’m going to start to move. If - that's okay?”  
  
“Yeah.” She nodded, and gave him a reassuring squeeze around his middle as she placed her head on his shoulder. Her hair tickling the side of his face as she breathed against his neck.“I’m good.”  
  
Taylor nodded and grit his teeth before he, slowly, lifted Rebecca off of him. Ground them together in a way that would have had any dentist worth their degree shrieking, as he fought against his instincts. The need he felt to bury himself back into the wet warmth he was leaving.  
  
“Oh god….” Becky squeaked right before she dug her nails into his back. He froze, never more glad that he was wearing a shirt than he was now. “I’m fine. Keep going!”  
  
“In a bit I just - ow.” Taylor winced, and muttered under his breath as he felt her nails dig in a little more. “Holding on a little tight, Becky.” Not that it would stop him... but they needed to have a talk about safewords. And trimming her nails.  
  
“Sorry… I’ll just - I….” Becky stuttered as she took her hands off his back and placed them on the wall. “I’ve never done this, so my responses are a little-”   
  
Taylor responded by suddenly dropping her back down. Taylor tried to keep the smirk off his face. Tried. The creaking steel behind his head helped with that.  
  
“Y-you!” She sputtered. “I was trying to- eep!”  
  
Becky was angry with him at the first rise and fall. Still annoyed at the second. Coming around on the third. And had completely forgiven him by the fourth push, her hands leaving the wall to grasp the sides of his face, forcing him still when she pressed her lips against his. Slipped her tongue into his mouth to reassert herself as the one on top.  
  
Too much. This was too much. The sensations. The experiences. His  _inexperience_  finally working against him, with his last option no longer an option. There wasn’t a single insect within four blocks of the building, all of them overwhelmed and killed by the strength of his emotions, something he hadn’t even known was possible until it was too late. He was done.  
  
Being a teenage,  _former_ , virgin sucked.  
  
“Becky.” Taylor gasped in between a break for air. “I’m sorry. But I’m going to-” Only getting as far as that into his warning before Becky kissed him again. Short and sweet.  
  
“It’s okay.” Becky said understandingly as she forced herself down, her legs locking behind Taylor’s back in an unspoken declaration of intent. “Do it.”  
  
And that was all Taylor needed. All any teenager needed.  
  
His pace quickened. Not the frantic increase that one would see in porn, if only in consideration for his partner.... But an increase. One that he kept up all throughout his climax, the strongest orgasm of his life. Hot and thick. Every thrust causing him to drop just a little bit more, his vision whiting out at every shot… before he was spent.  
  
But not done.  
  
“I was so close….”  
  
Not yet.  
  
He had already started to suck on her nipples again. To move a hand down, running it over her mound before he got to her clit. Rolled it in between his fingers. Circled it with his thumb while he continued to toy with the nipple in his mouth.  
  
“Such a-” Becky’s breath hitched as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Gentleman….”  
  
“Always.” Taylor snorted, feeling more relaxed than he had in  _years_ as he felt Rebecca shudder in his lap, adding to the small puddle that was already there. “... How are we going to explain this though? You and me, I mean?”  
  
“Just let me deal with it.” She sighed when he gave her other nipple the same attention as the first. “I have a plan….”  
  
\-----------------------------  
  
“So. Lisa.” Alec scooted, slowly, away from Lisa’s end of the couch, eying her like most people did Bitch’s dogs when they ramped up. He hadn’t felt actual worry in… ever, that he could remember. It was - unpleasant. “You’re looking a little—”  
  
Lisa vibrated quietly in place, knuckles tight around the tv remote as she continued to watch the news. Watched Taylor, in completely different clothing, wave awkwardly at the crowd with Alexandria at his side.  
  
“—murderous, right now, and I think, it would be a good idea if you just - put the remote down - and—”  
  
The remote found itself embedded halfway through the tv in a shower of sparks.  
  
“—Or that. That works too. Good job.”


	2. Chapter 2

Taylor was tired.  
  
No. That wasn’t true. He wasn’t tired. Tired was mundane. Common. Something that the common man would be able to understand in their day-to-day lives. What Taylor was feeling couldn’t be called something as common as  _tired_.  
  
Exhausted was closer. Much closer, but still not even close to strong enough to describe what he was feeling. What he was feeling couldn’t be called something as  _minor_ as exhausted. Taylor was  _drained._ Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and, above all,  _sexually_  drained. He had discovered that the soul really did exist earlier that day, in a similar manner as to how a person discovers furniture in a dark and unfamiliar room.  
  
With lots of swearing and hopping about as the coffee table tries to take your knee as unholy tribute. It was that sort of day… It wasn’t the sex though. Despite feeling like he was now an overly wrung-out sponge and Becky’s eagerness to make up for lost time while being more than a little needy… Taylor had dealt with worse.  
  
The real problem was everything else.  
  
The press conferences. The closed sessions. The meetings with PR and the Congressional hearings in order to secure a pardon for his, and the Undersiders, many crimes. That one had been a bitch and a half. A few Senators and their aides were getting cockroach infestations soon, with a helping of lice...and they called  _him_  a villain.  
  
That was just the Political side. The ‘legal’ end of things. Then had come the smoke and mirrors. The Cauldron meetings, the tours, the explanations, the screaming match with Doctor Mother about the giant flesh garden and the thousands of mutated people in the cells beneath their feet.   
  
Becky and Contessa had had to physically hold him back from doing something he wouldn’t regret in the slightest.  
  
After that came even more meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Did he mention meetings? He was pretty sure he had mentioned the meetings.That had been one of the (many) perks of being a semi-benevolent warlord, one of those that he hadn’t even known had existed until it had been forcibly introduced to him.  
  
Meetings were not nearly so bad when  _you_ were the one to call them. Switch it around though, and everything became a lot less fun.  
  
It was with those thoughts that Taylor stumbled into his living room. Back burning with stress and clotting scratches. Bespoke clothing with a thousand dollar and still feminine haircut, feeling more tired than he’d ever felt in his life.  
  
Thank God for Doormaker. He wasn’t sure if he’d have been able to get home without falling unconscious in an alley somewhere otherwise.  
  
“Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.” Taylor chanted to himself, the chant of a dead man walking through the desert as he jerkily made his way around the coffee table and the broken tv towards his bedroom. He felt like a puppet at that moment than he did a person. A marionette made of lead whose strings were about to snap under the weight.  
  
“Dad... I take back everything...I ever said...about you installing this handrail.” Taylor gasped out as he all but collapsed onto it. Danny, after a bad fall one day, had decided to install a handrail into the stairwell himself.   
  
It was anchored properly into the foundations and wall, and it only gave whoever used it a splinter every once in awhile. Those were the only good things that Taylor could say about it.   
  
“Come on. You can do it.” Taylor encouraged himself as he felt the last scraps of his strength falling away. He had fought Lung. He had fought Leviathan. He had fought the Slaughterhouse Nine. He was not letting such a simple thing as gravity or complete and utter exhaustion of the mind and body defeat him now.  
  
That would be a  _really_ crappy thing to have put on your tombstone. ‘ _Taylor Hebert. Fought the Dragon of Kyushu, the Slaughterhouse Nine in its entirety, and the second Endbringer. Died from falling down the stairs due to exhaustion._ ’. Obviously, that wasn’t happening… Even if it was slow going.  
  
What should have taken seven seconds, at most, wound up being a 3-minute affair with much crying and wheezing...but he did it. He slowly picked himself up from the landing, leaving marks on the wall from where his fingers had dug in.  
  
“Ten feet. Seven feet. Three feet. One feet.” Taylor said, not realizing or able to care that ‘one feet’ was bad grammar as a knock of his shoulder against the door opened it to it’s fullest. “Finally...thank God,” Taylor sighed as he fumbled for the light switch. He didn’t even have the energy to curse as he knocked over a stack of books while doing so.  
  
As long as he didn’t fall on his face, he didn’t care.  
  
With a bit of fumbling and a click, the light finally turned on... It took him a few seconds longer than he should have needed to realize that something about the place was different.  
  
Sitting there in an armchair was Lisa, wearing her signature domino mask, her signature vulpine smirk. And nothing else. “Hello, Taylor,” Lisa said in a sultry voice.   
  
Taylor took one look at her. Took a couple of steps forward. Felt a moment of time where he  _almost_ cared...and then collapsed onto his bed with his feet still hanging off the edge as the darkness took him...  
  
“YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PASS OUT AFTER WE HAVE SEX! NOT BEFORE!”  
  
==========  
  
Taylor’s first action in the world of wakefulness was a painful one. A long, drawn-out groan that he could feel in his very soul as she crossed his legs and prayed for salvation. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep, but it hadn’t been nearly close to enough... However, his body said otherwise. Specifically, his bladder which, at the moment, felt as if it were about to burst.  
  
Probably literally. He didn’t know. He was a supervillain warlord, not a doctor.  
  
“Okay okay. I’m getting up,” Taylor grumbled to his body as he swung his legs around. It took a surprising amount of effort. His muscles and joints had to be forced to move after the day he’d had. So many staircases. So many floors. So many pat downs and searches. Taylor didn’t buy for a second that the elevators at FBI Headquarters had been put offline for maintenance. A petty power play is what it was.  
  
“Motherfucker...” Taylor hissed as he forced himself to stand upright. Everything burned and everything screamed at him to sit his ass back down. A very persuasive argument... It was just too bad that his bladder was much more persuasive.   
  
Taylor stumbled to his feet and made his way towards the bathroom door. Taylor was going to bitch about how much pain he was in later. Even if it was just bitching to himself. Later. He had something important to do.  
  
After a great deal of stumbling and suppressed swears, he finally made it to his destination.  
  
“Thank  _god_.” Taylor opened the door and walked in, a sense of dread filling him as he was faced with a truly horrible choice. If he stood up to use the bathroom, he would have to lean over to raise the toilet seat, meaning that he might fall down straight out... But, if he sat down, then he might not be able to get back up.  
  
A terrible choice… One that his bladder was telling him to make soon before it forced the issue. Eventually, with great effort and pain, he did.  
  
Taylor raised the toilet seat up. Like a man. A very, very pretty man, but still a man either way. That was important.  
  
“By the lord...” Taylor sighed to himself as he felt the pressure and the sense of impending doom finally let up. After what felt like hours he finally stopped. He shook himself off, then finally leaned over and—  
  
“Don’t you dare flush that toilet.”  
  
Taylor shrieked like the little girl he dressed as at that. He then spun around on his heel, dick in hand, as he gathered his swarm for the fight of his life...only to come face to face with Lisa giving him a flat look, with her head sticking out of the shower curtains. That was around the time when Taylor’s awareness snapped into place.  
  
The heat and humidity in the room, the sound of the running shower, the fact he had heard singing as he entered the room.   
  
“Uh… Hi?” Taylor lamely said. Lisa continued to give him a flat look before giving him a slow up and down. He felt sweat starting to drip down his back. That or the humidity. He’d say both… He then stuffed himself back into his underwear when he realized that Lisa had stopped looking him up and down, and had stayed down.  
  
“What do you remember from last night?” Lisa asked.  
  
“I...actually wasn’t completely sure this was my house until I saw you,” Taylor admitted sheepishly. “I was running on empty.”  
  
“That  _hussy_ ,” Lisa hissed angrily to herself.  
  
Taylor, still too tired to realize that maybe he shouldn’t say something, did. “Becky was probably the least exhausting thing that I did this week.” Taylor gave Lisa a bleary blink as the girl’s mouth fell open. He was pretty sure that was shock and that he was going to be paying for that later. It was that sort of look. “Paperwork is a lot more complicated than you’d think.”  
  
“Becky?” Lisa asked, her tone perfectly non-hostile. Completely non-hostile. Frighteningly non-hostile. “Who’s Becky?”  
  
“Alexandria. Rebecca. Becky.” Taylor tried to shrug. Winced at he pulled at his love wounds… He’d never thought that would be something he said seriously. “She’s really not that bad. Mostly just lonely.”   
  
“Huh...” Lisa said, all hostility seemingly forgotten. Taylor didn’t even let the hope of that being true take hold. It was a lie, like Santa Claus or a government for the people. “So, if she didn’t do it, what did?”   
  
“Federal. Government. Meetings.” Taylor said, with dread creeping into his voice. “Oversight committees and ancient millionaires that had no idea what it meant to be out there on the streets.”  
  
“... Yeah.” Lisa nodded. “That would do it.”  
  
“How did you not know about all that?” Taylor raised a brow at Lisa who, at this point, had already made a small puddle on the floor with the water dripping from her hair. “It was all over the news. I had more microphones shoved into my face than I’ve had bees.”  
  
An exaggeration...but it worked. Taylor swore that reporters were worse than any locust.  
  
“I may have broken the TV… And my phone… And Brian’s phone… Lisa drifted off with a blush.  
  
“... You’re adorable.”  
  
“Did you even realize that you’re not wearing any clothes? ” Lisa asked as her face turned even redder. “Because you aren’t, besides your underwear.”  
  
Taylor looked down at himself. Made little questioning noises before he looked up again. “Nope. Can’t say that I did.”  
  
He really hadn’t...had he gone to sleep with them on?  
  
“I had to get you out of your clothes.”  
  
He had then… he groaned. Those had been  _rentals_.  
  
“Cute boyshorts by the way,” Lisa commented before she flicked a sopping wet bang back over her head. “Though I have no idea how you can comfortably fit in them. It looks like they’d ache something fierce.”  
  
“Years of practice,” Taylor said before coughing and looking up, “and good materials.”  
  
“Sounds nice.”  
  
“It can be… Yeah.”  
  
The two of them then looked at each other with varying levels of uncomfortableness, an awkward silence hanging in the air as the puddle on the floor grew yet further.  
  
“Soooo…just to reiterate…” Lisa bit her lip and twirled a strand of hair in between one of her fingers. “Do you want to have sex with me?”  
  
Taylor wished he could say he said something cool or suave at that point. Maybe a ‘yeah’ or a ‘sure’ or something. Not what he got instead, with his mouth falling open as he made a clicking noise deep in his throat like some kind of spazz.  
  
“Well?” Lisa pushed the curtains to the side, causing the floor to get positively  _flooded_  as Lisa stood there before him. Completely naked. Soaking wet. While giving him bedroom eyes. “What do you say?”  
  
They stared at each other some more before Taylor finally got up the power to say something again.  
  
“... I think my legs just locked up.” Not what he wanted to say, and not what Lisa wanted to hear either, but it was true...the fact that he started to fall forward kind of sold it.  
  
Lisa rushing out of the tub, cursing up a storm just before she caught him was appreciated though. He really didn’t like the thought of getting another concussion anytime soon...and the wet naked girl thing was nice too. Couldn’t forget about that.  
  
They stood there for a few seconds. Taylor just trying to calm his breathing while Lisa dripped all over the floor and looked pretty. It was all very picturesque. Like something out of a war movie.  
  
“I should probably get back to bed.”  
  
“Yeah...” Lisa agreed before she finally managed to, with some effort, get Taylor propped up against the bathroom sink so that he wouldn’t fall over. She then quickly grabbed a towel that was hanging off of a hook and wrapped it around her middle. “I would say don’t look, but…” Lisa shrugged.  
  
Taylor snorted, then wrapped his arm around Lisa’s shoulders when she offered them to him.  
  
“Come on. Let’s get you back to bed before you kill yourself.” Lisa grumbled as she stood up. “You tease.”  
  
“Okay.” Was all Taylor could say as he was half supported, half carried out of the bathroom. “And tease? How was I a tease?”   
  
After some much grumbling and complaining about weight, Lisa managed to reach Taylor’s bedroom.   
  
“... I don’t need to explain that to you.” Lisa grumbled as she plopped Taylor down on his bed. “You need to lose some weight, Taylor. It’s like you’re made out of rocks.”  
  
“That’s called ‘muscle’, Lisa,” Taylor teased. “You really need to do some pushups or something because, at this point, the only way I’m losing weight is if I lose an arm. That’s not happening anytime soon.”  
  
Hopefully not anyway. That sounded terrible.  
  
“And lose my girlish figure?”  
  
“It’s not all that it’s—” Taylor yawned. His jaw cracked. “—cracked up to...be.” Taylor retorted, the very act of keeping his eyes open anymore harder than it should be. “Trust me on that.”  
  
“Hmm…” Lisa tapped her finger against her chin, “Nah.”  
  
“Fine then. Whatever.”  
  
Lisa let out a little scream as Taylor got a hold on her wrist and pulled her in. “What the hell Taylor?” Lisa squirmed a bit as she found herself pressed up against his chest. Just a bit. She calmed down right quick when Taylor gave her a bit of a squeeze. “I thought you said—”  
  
“I did,” Taylor said, then deeply sighed, “This isn’t sex though. We’re just sleeping together.”  
  
“... But...I’m still wet...“ Lisa grumbled as she gave Taylor’s chest a couple of slaps. “At least let me dry off first!”  
  
“Can’t. Arms locked up as well...”  
  
“... Really?”  
  
No.  
  
“Yep.”  
  
He just didn’t want to be alone right now.  
  
“Well, if that’s what happened…”  
  
The next six hours of sleep were  _glorious._  
  
==========  
  
“Morning, sleeping beauty.”   
  
Taylor cracked open his eyes. Rubbed them. Reopened them to blearily blink at a highly amused Lisa. Highly amused, or annoyed. A mix of both was likely. “Uh... Morning?” Taylor said before the breath got knocked out of him by a light punch to the gut.  
  
“Don’t you good morning me! I’ve been curled up next to you for the last six hours!” Lisa complained. “I had things to do today!”  
  
Taylor groaned as he rubbed his stomach. “I didn’t hear you say it was a bad thing...” That got him another slap.   
  
“And that’s for knowing the inner workings of my mind.” Lisa pouted.  
  
Taylor just laughed and stroked her hair, feeling more relaxed than he had since...yesterday. He should probably keep that to himself.  
  
Lisa winced and pulled her head away. “Careful!  
  
Taylor stopped stroking Lisa’s hair, remembering exactly what state it had been in before they’d got into bed together.  
  
”You didn’t let me dry my hair, or brush it, before your arms ‘locked’ up. I’ve got more tangles than I do issues...and that’s a lot.” Lisa then gave him a pointed glare.  
  
Taylor badly whistled in response. Nothing to see hear. He’d done nothing wrong.  
  
Lisa sniffed and pointedly looked away. And then sniffed again. Taylor got the idea that she thought about gagging. “Actually…” Lisa pressed hands to Taylor’s chest and pushed him away. “Speaking of showers…”  
  
“Yeah... It’s been a couple of days now, hasn’t it?” Taylor said before he let go, starting up their morning rituals.  
  
Lisa rolled off the bed and readjusted her towel. Taylor followed her up... Or tried to. He got halfway up the bed and then fell back down onto it. It was supposedly very funny, seeing how Lisa laughed at him.  
  
“Well, my muscles aren’t hurting anymore... But they’re really stiff… Can I get a little help?” Taylor gave Lisa a pitiful look and stretched out his arms.  
  
Lisa sighed. “You’re lucky you’re cute...” Lisa said as she had to pick up Taylor for the second time that day...night? What day was it? “You’re still heavy, Fatty.”  
  
“And you still need to do some pushups, Twiggy,” Taylor retorted as he was dragged along. Thankfully he could support himself this time. He just had problems with bending. Nothing much.  
  
“Lousy freaking cute lard assed...” Lisa grumbled as she pulled open the shower curtain. She then propped Taylor up against the sink  _again_  to turn on the water. After some cursing and tinkering, Lisa finally managed to get the water to a decent temperature.  
  
The boiler was probably on the fritz again. Just like it was every other week...man. What the hell was Taylor  _doing_ with all of his money? He really needed to get his priorities in order.  
  
“Alright. Time to strip.” Lisa said.   
  
Taylor just looked at Lisa and then at what he was wearing. His underwear. This was good enough.  
  
“Haha… Nope. Strip. You have to be naked to shower.” Lisa said as her fingers hooked Taylor’s waistband. “You’re not one of those weirdos that wear their bathing suits in the tub, are you?”  
  
Taylor only sighed and rolled his eyes as his shorts were pulled down. He wasn’t one of those guys. He was just shy. Sue him. He then duly lifted his feet so that Lisa could properly remove them, ending with them being tossed over Lisa’s shoulder...where she just kind of stood there. Taylor rolled his eyes again as he realized that Lisa had gotten a little...fixated.  
  
“This is nice and all—”  
  
Lisa licked her lips a little bit but continued to stare at his crotch.  
  
“—but we’re wasting hot water,” Taylor said before she gave Lisa a gentle poke in the forehead, prompting a playful pout from her that made him laugh.  
  
“Fine. Fine! Spoil a girl’s fun why don’t you?” With some more cursing and hissing from moving his bulk around, Lisa managed to get Taylor sitting down in the shower. “That good?” She said as she adjusted the showerhead so it wasn’t pounding Taylor directly in the face.   
  
Taylor, instead of responding right off, made a few odd motions with his arms.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“Yeah. Sort of... I need your help though. No innuendos. I honestly need you to help me shower.”  
  
Lisa raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
“Paperwork.”   
  
“... That makes sense. Welcome to the Federal Government,” Lisa said just before she sat in behind Taylor, dropped her towel, and popped open a bottle of body wash. “Can I still say “I guess that I will just have to deal with running my soapy hands all over your body?” Lisa asked as she worked it into a lather.  
  
“Well...you kind of just did...”  
  
“That’s true...also fuck me, what happened to you?” Lisa gently poked at one of the scratches on Taylor’s back, making one of his eyes twitch in suppressed pain. “It’s like looking at a ‘death by a thousand cuts’ survivor.”  
  
“... Becky is very enthusiastic and still getting used to actually feeling things,” Taylor explained. Paused. “She’s getting better...and I just realized what I said. Please don’t hurt me.”  
  
Lisa only hummed an angry affirmative.  
  
“Sorry. I’ll stop talking now.” Taylor said, just before he did so.   
  
Lisa, in her own way, slowly calmed down as she started to work her magic. Despite all the chances for teasing and the like, Lisa mostly focused on her task. Taylor hadn’t had a chance to look at his own back yet, but if Lisa was being so gentle as that...  
  
“Where’s the Shampoo?”  
  
“It’s in that large, white unmarked bottle,” Taylor said.  
  
“... No wonder I couldn’t find it.” Lisa grumbled as she grabbed it and opened the top. “Why did you guys take the labels off?” Then, she gave it a sniff. “What brand is this? I don’t think I know this one.”  
  
“Eh.” Taylor shrugged. “We mix a handful of different brands and then add in some essential oils for scent. I think it’s lemongrass and rose oil right now. I like to switch it up.”  
  
Hair care was very important.  
  
“Yeah... That would explain why you always smell so good.” Lisa said as she started to massage it into Taylor’s hair. “Also this volume. Wow.” She then stopped. Coughed, the continued. “It’s not  _bad_.”  
  
“Whatever you say, Lisa.” Things were just looking up these days, weren’t they?  
  
“... I’m stealing the bottle,” Lisa groused.   
  
“Sure. You  _could_  do that.” Taylor agreed.  
  
Lisa gave him a suspicious look.  
  
“Or you could just ask me for the recipe. Like a normal person. Hell, if Alec can do it...”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah. I know. Surprised me too. Then again he started it off with “I am not getting my title of ‘Face’ usurped” so it’s a bit of a wash really.” Taylor admitted.   
  
Lisa snorted at that. Giggled. Giggled and snorted. Giggle snorted. Taylor couldn’t blame her.  
  
“Alright. Time to rinse this out.” Taylor half-heartedly instructed his rapt pupil. “Normally, for this mix, you’re supposed to let it sit in for a few minutes, but I don’t feel like it today. Two to three.”   
  
Lisa nodded, obviously taking note for when she got her own bottle. She then gently dug in with her nails, trying to make sure not to leave any soap behind. That was nice of her. Leftover soap on your scalp was the  _worst_.  
  
“Okay…” Lisa shook out what looked like half the bottle in her hands, then started soaping up Taylor’s chest like there was no tomorrow. “Now the front!” Lisa started madly giggling to herself as her hands lingered a little overlong on Taylor’s pecs.  
  
It was a little disturbing...but really. Who was he to ruin her fun? The fact that it was  _him_ that she was giggling about was just icing on the cake really...and now, he had questions.  
  
“Actually...how are you so relaxed about all this?” Taylor asked the thought that he might have been talking to a Stranger instead crossing his mind for a moment before he tossed it out. “I mean—I was way too tired to ask earlier, but generally you get almost disgusted at the thought of physical intimacy.”  
  
Lisa, instead of continuing to wash his abs until they sparkled, took a moment to think about what to say. The anxiety he was now feeling was real. “It’s amazing what a giant wheelbarrow full of cash can get you if you know the right people.”  
  
That was...ambiguous. But it did answer some of his questions.  
  
“Aisha made you actually get a wheelbarrow didn’t she?” Taylor asked.  
  
“Yep,” Lisa popped the p. “I mean—it was a hassle to push that thing up the wheelchair access, but let me tell you,” Lisa leaned in close to Taylor’s ear. Tickled him with her breath in a way that made him blush even as breasts pushed against his back. “Having the cash right there and then...it’s like magic, how fast those doors open.”  
  
Taylor could imagine.  
  
“Now there’s an idea. What do you say to a Porsche for a belated Sweet Sixteen?” Lisa asked casually, “I mean...you killed Coil. It’s only right that you’d get to blow all his money on fancy, useless things. You can be the nice girl and I can be the mean girl.”  
  
That...actually sounded kind of fun.  
  
“Well… Alright. I’m willing to pretend to be a girl for a Porsche. Hell, I’m willing to pretend to be a girl for free anyway.”  
  
At that, the both of them burst into giggles. Giggles that only ended when Lisa’s hands went a little bit lower.  
  
Taylor’s back went straight as a ruler, his eyes wide as his junk was grabbed by the second woman in one week. “Watch the hands!”  
  
Cold!  
  
“But what if I don’t want to watch them?” Lisa sultry said into his ear.  
  
Taylor managed to turn his face towards Lisa’s, wondering when the  _hell_ he’d become catnip to the girls around him.  
  
“What if I’m ready?” She asked with just four words. Four simple words. Four. Simple. Words. Confident and strong, the voice of someone that knew what they wanted. The kiss that came after was...different. It was different from Becky. Not as hard or needful. Not as practiced either... But still as pleasurable in its own way.  
  
Taylor couldn’t help but feel regret when they broke apart for air. One could only live on another’s breath for so long.  
  
“You’re part of the Undersiders, Taylor.” Lisa nuzzled the side of Taylor’s neck. Slid her arms around his shoulders in a hug. “Part of  _me_...and I’m never going to let you go.”  
  
Taylor nervously put his hands on hers as he tried  _really hard_  to remember what his dad had said about times like these. Ah. Right. Don’t stick your dick in—  
  
“... That didn’t come out how I wanted it to.”  
  
—and Taylor got to live another day.  
  
“Just...I want you to make love to me.” Lisa gave Taylor’s length a pull, forcing a hiss of air to slip past his teeth as he began to grow erect. “And I want to make love to you. Is that so much to ask?”  
  
No. No, it was not. There was only one problem with that though.  
  
“... I’m still asleep aren’t I?” He had to be. He just had to be at this point.  
  
“No. No, you aren’t.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Taylor’s breath stuttered, almost biting his tongue as Lisa started to roll her wrist. To throw in a bit of technique to what she’d been doing before. “Because—this is how a lot of my dreams with you start. I’m pretty sure I’m going to wake up soon, feeling angry and sort of sad.”  
  
Lisa giggled, “I know~” Then she stood up, leaving Taylor bereft and alone as she stepped out of the tub...and then she was back, this time sitting in front of him, her back facing his front as she sat in between his legs. The world was right again. “You have no idea how  _weird_  it is to be interested in sex again.”  
  
Pouring the shampoo into his own hands with an interested hum, Taylor dug his fingers into Lisa’s scalp. A bit of repayment for the good job she’d done on him and the cuddle beforehand...and damn did she have a lot of knots in there.  
  
“Like...okay. I was fourteen, right? A completely normal girl living in Beverly Hills with my shitty parents and...” Lisa trailed off, then shook her head, “I had normal fourteen-year-old girl needs and wants. I used to watch porn even. All very normal.”  
  
“Uh-huh.” Taylor moved onto Lisa’s back and soaped it up as well. Dug in, and gave her a minor massage.  
  
“Then, one day…” Lisa clapped her hands together hard enough to leave an echo in the bathroom that lasted a good three seconds. It might not have been the best bathroom, but the acoustics were to  _die_ for. “I couldn’t even touch myself without feeling the need to dip my hands in acid. Do you know how hard that was for me?”  
  
“I can’t even imagine.” With a confidence he hadn’t possessed before that fateful day in the interrogation room, Taylor moved his hands around to Lisa’s front to grab her breasts. Besides her jumping a little when started to rub, she didn’t do anything else. The last week, as long as you left out the meetings, had been  _awesome._  “Dipping my hands into acid, I mean. That sounds terrible.”  
  
“Right?” Lisa turned her head a bit, just enough to look at Taylor out of the corner of her eye. “I never did it or anything obviously...but my power was able to fill in the blanks for me.” She shuddered. “It was very descriptive. Very. I still felt the urge to do it anyway. Let that sink in.”  
  
“I’m fine thanks,” Taylor replied dryly as one of his hands went down to Lisa’s stomach and started soaping it up as well. Just the one though. Righty was staying right where he’d left it. Lisa’s right breast needed a just a  _bit_  more cleaning. “... How is it now though? Better?”  
  
“Much.” Lisa scooted backward slightly, leading to her back grazing the tip of Taylor’s erection and her not shying away like  _he_ was acid. A huge improvement...besides the whole ‘getting jerked off’ thing from earlier which had been a hint of its own. “Bunches, actually.”  
  
“Much bunches?”  
  
“There you go!” Lisa stiffened. “Ooh~” Then started to squirm as Taylor’s hand ended up in her lap and started to ‘clean’. The fact that he was actually cleaning was a completely secondary concern. “Tingly~”  
  
“... That’s what she said.”  
  
“And I’m gone.” Lisa made to stand up, the playful smile on her face the only reason as to why Taylor wasn’t currently freaking out at the moment. “I don’t think I can be with someone that has such a  _terrible_ sense of humor.”  
  
“Nooooo,” Taylor groaned, just as playfully. “Don’t leave meeee.”  
  
A light pull on her shoulder, just as her hand came down on a discarded bar of soap, led to the unexpected happening. Lisa fell and made vaguely upset noises. Taylor was surprised, in a good way, and in more than a little pain, in a bad way.  
  
“Well. That happened,” Lisa said, her voice strained from the fall and the fact that Taylor had missed the promised land by mere inches. “Not sure how, but it did.”  
  
“ _Owwww_ ,” Taylor hissed and rubbed the back of his head.  
  
It kind of evened out, in its own way...which is when Lisa slid forward, did a little hop, then came down again, straight on his erection. No thought or anything that Taylor could see. She just did it, breaking the good/bad scales as one side got much, much heavier.  
  
“How did I not see this coming?” Lisa intoned near emotionlessly, her voice carrying hints of laughter even as her hips slowly began to rock. “I should have known you’d have never been patient enough to wait for our time in the shower to end. Woe is me.” The effect was lost as she shuddered, turned her head, and bit her thumbnail with a smile. “What are you going to do to me now?”  
  
No pressure. No pressure at all… Ha, no. All the pressure. If the shower hadn’t been on, Taylor would have been dripping with sweat. This was the girl he’d been crushing on from day one. His best friend outside of Brian. The unattainable one that had, completely unknown to him,  _also_ been crushing on him.  
  
This was big. Super big. Even bigger than getting his V-card punched...he couldn’t mess this up. He wouldn’t. He was going to have to go with his gut, and whatever experience he had.  
  
“I can think of a few things,” Taylor said smoothly, feeling somewhat proud when his voice didn’t crack. The throbbing at the back of his head was quickly forgotten as he sank back into the role he’d used when he’d been with Becky, ending up with him gently cradling Lisa’s clitoris in between his thumb and forefinger. “Quite a few things, as a matter of fact.”  
  
He was lying so  _hard_...but improvisation had always been one of his strong suits.  
  
“Oh. Oh wow...” Lisa gasped. Reached backward with one hand, and flailed around a bit before she ended up cradling the back of Taylor’s head while the other latched onto the rim of the bathtub for support. “Oh dear god,  _wow_.”  
  
He then released Lisa’s clit, much to her loud displeasure, to place his hands on her waist. With only a little bit of effort, he raised her a few inches. And then brought her back down. Slowly. Agonizingly slowly...for him.  
  
Lisa must have been dying, as pent-up as she was.  
  
“Cheater,” Lisa huffed in breathless accusation. “You told me that your arms—were stiff!”  
  
“They are...but I can move them enough for this.” He would have done a lot more than  _move_ his arms as long as it meant he got to have this. He gave Lisa a smug grin. “Besides...it’s not like you’re all that heavy, Twiggy.”  
  
“And you’re—still a—fatty—though th-that isn’t a bad thing when you think—about it~” Lisa gasped, then bit her lip as Taylor let her drop all at once. Left her to sit and shiver as her toes curled up.  
  
Her first orgasm of the day was...nice. Calm even...and had she just said he had a fat  _cock_?  
  
“More.”  
  
Taylor paused at that. “What?”  
“I said I need more!” Lisa turned her head back, not even bothering to ride out her aftershocks in favor of going straight to bouncing. “I haven’t even been able to touch myself in two years, and I. Need. More!”  
  
Best. Day. Ever.  
  
“Don’t stop until I tell you to!” Lisa said, before she fell backward into Taylor’s chest, wrapped her hands in his hair like a set of handlebars. “Fuck me until I can’t take it anymore!”  
  
 _Best. Day. Ever._..even if it was a little unrealistic. That wasn’t the point though!   
  
“If you want this to get even better,” Taylor grunted as he started moving his hips upwards, the residual ache in them barely even noticeable under the hot water and ‘exercise’. “You could let go of my hair—”  
  
Lisa twisted her hold a bit in warning. Lisa was a  _vicious_ little thing when she got aroused.  
  
“—and just play with yourself at the same time, you know?”  
  
Taylor drifted off as Lisa turned her head up to look him in the eyes. He recognized that look. The same look as you saw in the eyes of someone on LSD, or in those of someone who had just won the lottery. A look of near-religious revelation and understanding.  
  
“I can, can’t I?” Lisa said to herself with more than a little awe in her voice.  
  
Taylor slowly, very slowly nodded. He had a good idea of where this was going of course, but he just wanted to be safe about it.  
  
“Okay. Yes. Alright.” Lisa let go of Taylor’s silky curls. “Just to reiterate again… Keep going and don’t stop until I tell you to stop.” Lisa moved her hands, both of them, downwards. One to her breast and one to her crotch, as was only proper. “I’ve got the rest.”   
  
Taylor nodded again. That was an order he was more than happy to listen to. Hell, it was an order he’d never stopped following...he just started doing it a little harder.  
  
Lisa, from the noises she started to make, obviously approved.  
  
It went on like for some time. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. It was all the same thing as the hot water rained down on them, with Taylor slowly raising Lisa up and down. With Lisa rapidly stimulating herself. Rubbing her clit with one hand and as she pinched and pulled at a nipple with the other.  
  
Lisa’s breaths though eventually began to shorten. Her head rolled back onto Taylor’s chest as her hands started to move in a blur. Taylor, knowing what was going to happen from a great deal of time of trying to provoke exactly this sort of reaction from someone else, started to increase his pace as much as he safely could.   
  
“Oh god, oh god, oh god...” Lisa whispered before she clenched her teeth. Held back a scream that would have left Taylor’s ears ringing as her back went completely rigid and still. After a few seconds of that, twenty, Taylor thought, she finally relaxed.  
  
Taylor said nothing...but he did sigh. He hadn’t even come close yet... Not that he was going to say that. He wasn’t an asshole.  
  
“I didn’t say stop yet, Mister.” She said simply, just before she gave him a kiss that left him breathless.  
  
She was the boss—  
  
Taylor started to pump into her again, driving a delightful little squeal out of her as she realized that post-orgasm sensitivity was a thing.  
  
—and what the boss says, goes.  
  
==========  
  
“I can’t feel my legs…”  
  
“And mine locked up again…”  
  
That...was a very long thirty minutes. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my Tumblr if you want to send me a message and learn a bit more about my writing!
> 
>  
> 
> https://marchenblanc.tumblr.com/


End file.
